Rage of the Kenpachi
by Engineer of Epicness
Summary: There are many song about the greatest swordsman in Soul Society. This is but one of them


**Rage of the Kenpachi**

In District 5 of the Rukongai, there is a tavern. It's not high class. It doesn't have a wide range of alcohol. Its not even in the centre of town. But none of these things make it a special tavern. What makes it special, is the fact that it is the only tavern in Soul Society that willing lets the entire upper ranks of Squad 11 drink there.

Not long after Ichigo Kurasaki had infiltrated the Seritei, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Renji invited said Ryoka to the tavern for a drink or six. It was busy, the Tavern full of many current and past members of Squad 11.

The four men were seated around a table in the middle of the pub, all on their second round, when Ichigo asked a question that had been sitting in his mind.

"Hey Ikkaku."

"What, Ichigo?"

"Your Captain, Kenpachi Zaraki. Who is he? I mean how did he become captain of the division without a shikai?"

"The Captain? He killed the previous Captain. It's the law of the Kenpachi, the Strongest Blade of Soul Society. You have to kill the previous Kenpachi to become the new Kenpachi."

"Hm. That actually makes sense."

"I know. Surprising isn't it. But you want to know about the Captain?" Here, Ikkaku stood and banged his mug on the counter. The entire tavern quieted, all eyes on the bald 3rd seat.

"Our new friend, Ichigo, wants to know about the Captain!'

The assembled Soul Reapers roared in response.

"Well, then, lets tell 'em!"

The Tavern shook with the responding roar.

Yumichika took out a fiddle of all things and started playing a jaunty tune. The hooligans around them started banging their mugs on the counters in tune.

Ikkaku took a deep breath, and started singing,

" _In Soul Society, there lives a man_

 _A rusted sword in his right hand_

 _And rage consumes his every living day._

 _As one against the entire world_

 _His sword of deadly wrath he held_

 _Slashing all the bastards in his way!"_

Renji piped up,

" _He fights to die,_

 _He lives to kill"_

A random member from the bar shouted,

" _To cut your throat_

 _His greatest skill"_

Surprisingly, Hanatoro added the next bit,

" _He'll eat your kids_

 _And punch your house"_

Kukaku Shiba sounded of the next line,

" _And set fire to your cat!"_

The room resonated with the chorus, drowning out Yumickia's fiddle.

" _So, we'll raise our blades up to the sky_

 _And drink to absent friends_

 _Those far away and those who died_

 _Still fighting to the end_

 _Have no fear for life is short_

 _And Death still holds us all_

 _So, when that Bastard comes for us_

 _We'll meet him standing tall!"_

The Barman belted out the next line,

" _Die for the Rage of the Kenpachi!"_

Ikkaku took up the song once more,

" _Many Legends have been told_

 _Of evil men from days of old_

 _But none of them compare to what he's done_

 _Sadistic psycho through and through_

 _There's nothing nasty he won't do_

 _One time he shot a baby- with a gun!"_

" _He'll break your neck"_

" _And eat your face"_

" _The foe of all the Hollow race"_

" _He'll stab your mum"_

" _And drink your rum"_

" _This bastard can't be killed!"_

Each line called out by a different person around the room, before Ikkaku took up the final verse,

" _So, we'll raise our swords up to the sky_

 _And drink to absent friends_

 _Those far away and those who died_

 _Still fighting to the end_

 _Have no fear for life is short_

 _And Death still holds us all_

 _So, when that Bastard comes for us_

 _We'll meet him standing tall"_

The climax of the song was met by the door crashing open. The man in question filled the doorway, gazing over the room. The entire tavern was dead quiet, and Yumichika's fiddle had mysteriously disappeared.

Ichigo wondered if he could flashstep away while drunk.

Zaraki looked directly at his 3rd seat, "You know that's Bullshit, Ikkaku?"

Ikkaku swallowed audibly, "er, Yes Captain!"

The Kenpachi smirked, "I would never shoot a baby. It can't fight back!"

 **I have no regrets in writing this.**

 **I do not own Bleach, or Rage of the Pentahook.**

 **If you like Pirate Metal, give Alestorm a listen. If you already listen to them, give Gloryhammer a listen. If you already know glory hammer,**

" **HAIL TO HOOTS!"**


End file.
